Unsubscribe – The Myth of Rejection
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The question is – ‘What’s a healthy way to navigate rejection?’

At some point everyone gets rejected. A client or business partner may suddenly stop working with you, a lover might end your relationship, or maybe a new acquaintance won’t accept your friend request. Some refusals we shake off easily, others can ruin a day, and then there are those that can haunt us for years if not put in the proper perspective.

How do we continue to put ourselves out there and not get wounded or jaded from feeling as if we’re brushed aside? Anger and revenge don’t solve anything. Those emotions simply perpetuate negative energy and hurt us again and again.

Freedom from rejection begins with realizing that fulfillment and happiness comes from within and not from the opinion and validation of others.

Not too long ago a successful actress I work with came in for a session and after a short while, she suddenly broke down sobbing. When I asked her why she was so upset she said – “Everyone hates me. ” This statement was made despite the fact that she has been working on great projects, made millions of dollars the year before, was on the covers of magazines and had tons of adoring fans. She had gone online and read some nonsense and decided to believe the negativity, all while ignoring the good things said about her.

She was lost. Running herself ragged, amped up on Red Bull, obsessing over results, outer successes and validation from others. She had even gotten her teeth fixed not because she wanted to, but because she had read on the internet that people didn’t like her teeth. She was far from the grounded, authentic girl I knew only a few years before. She had little self-love.

It’s important to remember that if we please everyone, we abandon our true selves.
@MichaelWoolson (Click to Tweet!)

What she really needed in my opinion was time away to think and get back in touch with herself, i.e. read a good book, hang with a close friend, go to yoga, write in a journal, volunteer, anything where she could treat herself with value.

Isn’t it true that we give people the power to shame or hurt us? Rejection itself is simply neutral. Think about it – if you look back, how many “negative rejections” turned out to be turning points that took us in a better direction? The truth is we’ve survived the past and are here and better because of all we’ve been through.

So the next time you get rejected, know that it could be just what you need.

Remember, external happiness from things that happen or don’t happen is only temporary. This can be hard to remember in a world that measures happiness in terms of shiny things and big bank accounts. Inner joy is much more important and it comes from treating yourself well and realizing that you’re whole and wonderful as you are. It’s important that we remind ourselves of this constantly.

Can we learn from rejection? Absolutely. Maybe the refusal was to show us that our approach was off or that we have more to learn in that area. Always ask yourself “What lesson can I take from all of this?” Often times there’s real wisdom that helps us become better human beings when the next opportunity comes along. Of course, there are many times when the rejection is not about you at all. This person is almost always dealing with their own fears and insecurities and are in fact rejecting a part of themselves through your situation. Try this – after you’re ‘rejected’, write down all of your great qualities. Remind yourself how the person rejecting you is missing out. Not in an egotistical manner, but in a nurturing way like a best friend would. Then ask yourself “How can I build my inner strength/self love?” Lastly, whenever possible forgive the person who rejected you and most importantly forgive yourself. People are only doing the best they can with the tools they have, so put it behind you. Yes sometimes you need to cry about it and let the pain happen in its varying degrees, but hopefully it doesn’t last too long.

If you’re facing rejection from a person you had a romantic relationship with, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. It happens to all of us at one time or another. The hard truth is that rejection is unavoidable and braving it is the price of admission if you want to have love in your life. If you’ve lost romantic love recently, allow yourself the time to mourn it and then do your best to move on. Don’t hold your breath and wait for that person to change their mind, or try to manipulate them into realizing how great you are. Doing so is an act of insecurity, and even if you’re temporarily ‘successful’, it’s not fully authentic and it doesn’t stick. After all, we’re more attractive when we put our energies into self-love and care.

Some people say that time heals all wounds. I’m not sure that I agree with that. Time is not responsible for our healing, we are.

We have to be dedicated to looking at our wounds, granting forgiveness and letting things go. One more thing, If you’re holding on to rejection and hurt, don’t be afraid to seek professional help there’s no shame in doing what you have to do to heal yourself.

Lastly in the words of Khalil Gibran “You are far greater than you know and all is well.”


Michael Woolson has become one of the most prominent and respected acting coaches in Los Angeles. He is recognized for his unique ability to cultivate depth and authenticity from his students in an environment that is nurturing and inspiring. Woolson has worked with thousands of actors from talented up-and-comers to award-winning celebrities. He is the author of The Work of an Actor and Emotion on Demand: An Actor’s Workbook for Mastering Emotional Triggers.

For more, follow Michael on Facebook and Twitter.

What Happened To Passion and Gratitude?
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I think that in order to live the best life possible, we must every now and again ask ourselves some tough questions in regards to how we’re approaching life and our work. In my experience these questions arise when we’re taken by emotional pain, a temporary lack of gratitude, or the inevitable dulled sense of love for one’s work that occurs after doing it for some time.

Many of us experience times where we run out of ideas, come up against a seemingly impossible challenge, or we simply lose the joy for what we love to do and feel frustrated to the point where we may even fantasize about throwing in the towel.

The documentary STRIPPED goes over the history of many popular comic strips and their creators’ climb to success. The film details how many of these cartoonists had a golden period of creativity where they were creating out of joy for themselves as they tried to make a living off of their craft. When these artists finally did receive publication for their comics, they came up against a whole other set of challenges, one of which, is keeping the passion for what they loved to do under the stress of meeting deadlines. The grind of having to come up with a new joke and strip every day of the week can be daunting and burnout is not surprisingly uncommon.

It can be a very scary feeling when the passion that you’ve had for something for so long goes away. You can feel lost wondering, “What am I going to do now?” However, these moments can be a great, exciting chance for rebuilding and transformation. In my experience it is important to approach these feelings with compassion and curiosity instead of shame and blame.

I recently found myself in one of those profound ‘questioning-my-approach’ challenges. I love coaching and teaching, however I have the tendency to do it until I burn out or feel stuck. My pattern in the past was to question or sabotage my career altogether. Was it time to change jobs? Move to another city? Take a vacation? Eat some junk food? Buy a big ticket item I don’t need? In my experience it’s often the simpler, less drastic actions that have the most profound effect in re-inspiring myself, in particular re-orienting myself into a place of gratitude.

Recognizing the love and support around me is the best catalyst to rekindle my own love for what I do. @MichaelWoolson (Click to Tweet!)

I’m aware that in extreme cases that burnout may be an indicator that a change of career may be truly necessary. I have had moments in my life where I had to leave the safety and security of one job for another to enter a new chapter of development. Though scary, these brave transitions have proven to be the best things for me both personally and professionally.

Recently I encountered a stage of burnout and found my way back to my passion. Curious about this phenomenon, I asked many friends and family members about their experiences with these similar kinds of challenges and how they re-inspire themselves on their journeys.

Through this discovery process I made a list of creative ways to get you out of a life funk and back into a place of passion and gratitude.

1. Make changes in what you do. Take a new approach, one that excites you. The fresh take will often make you more present and inspired.
2. Feed your soul with a spiritual practice. Activities that connect you to the world helps maintain gratitude. Yoga, meditation, church, temple, go to a support group, listen to an inspirational speaker, etc.
3. Give to others. Find a way to serve others; their gratitude will likely affect you for the better. The positive effects of generosity are expansive.
4. Educate yourself. Take a class, read a self-help book, or any book for that matter, attend a seminar, try a new hobby or skill.
5. Sleep well. If possible, get to bed at a reasonable hour and avoid eating close to when you go to sleep as digestion can hinder deep rest.
6. Eat well. Remember the importance of what you put in your body. Our diet can help bring us to clarity or keep us in a fog. Even subtle changes can make a big difference for your energy levels. Simply giving up caffeine, reducing your sugar intake, eating more veggies, and staying away from foods that drag you down all help your general well-being and thus, your outlook.
7. Exercise. Physical activity such as working out, running or walking has been proven to release endorphins, which in turn change our perspective and mood.
8. Find a new passion or revitalize an old passion outside of your work. Like playing guitar, hiking, biking, photography, dance, etc.
9. Give yourself a perspective check. Remember that there are many others that are suffering in ways that make our problems pale in comparison. I recently read this book, Chasing Daylight, about a man with brain cancer who only had three months to live. After reading this book, it was impossible to keep up my pity party.
10. Write out your blessings. Sit down and compose a list of all the things that you’re grateful for.
11. Spend time with positive people. Surround yourself with those whose lives inspire you. This could be a trusted friend, a comforting family member, or a mentor.
12. Take time away. Often all we need is time to recharge our batteries and relax. Our inner muse mostly visits us when we’re in a relaxed, peaceful state.

Please feel free to use the comment section to add to the list and share your methods that bring back your love and passion.


Michael Woolson has become one of the most prominent and respected acting coaches in Los Angeles. He is recognized for his unique ability to cultivate depth and authenticity from his students in an environment that is nurturing and inspiring. Woolson has worked with thousands of actors from talented up-and-comers to award-winning celebrities. He is the author of The Work of an Actor and Emotion on Demand: An Actor’s Workbook for Mastering Emotional Triggers.

For more, follow Michael on Facebook and Twitter.

Steps to Change
Steps to Change

Over the years, I have gone through numerous transformations and have had the pleasure of helping facilitate growth in many of my clients. Even though we’ve learned that change can be good for us, it often feels uncomfortable to go through with it.

The way we deal with change affects our health, happiness, and the energy that we bring the world. If you are in acceptance of what is and are constantly open to what the world gives you and are creative with these possibilities, you will be healthier and happier.

It is no coincidence that people who look younger have the biggest tolerance to change.
@MichaelWoolson (Click to Tweet!)

Stagnation stems from resistance to what is true now, and that state reads on our faces and bodies as signs of fatigue, aging, and stress. We are literally fighting reality instead of being creative with it.

One of the big epiphanies that I had came in a class I took a few years ago. In this workshop, we talked about and identified the steps of change. This was extremely helpful for me in both my own self-improvement as well as in my work with others. Consistently applying this knowledge kept me balanced and in a Zen place while dealing with change. After all, transformation has been going on with human beings throughout all of time. It’s our job to get through it and move on the best that we know how.

These steps take the mystery out of transformation and make the chapters easier to spot.

Step 1: Denial

In this step, the person doesn’t even know that their actions aren’t working. They are coasting along, sabotaging their health, business, and/or personal relationships. It’s as if they are saying to themselves, “What problem?”

Step 2: Arrogance

In this step, the person has identified and is aware of doing a certain behavior, but they don’t care and are often arrogant about it. It’s as if they are saying, “Yeah so what if I do _______? It’s my life, and it doesn’t hurt anybody.”

Step 3: Acceptance

In this step, the person has realized that the identified behavior is a problem for their life and others. This is the moment where hopefully a decision to get help or to make a healthy change is made. It’s as if they are saying, “I see now that this is not working, and I am ready to change and get help if necessary.”

Step 4: Transformation/Maintenance

This is the beautiful moment when realization sets in that the new behavior has been implemented and that the change is for the better. This doesn’t mean that everything from here on out is smooth sailing necessarily, but the benefits are felt and the person knows that they are better off because of it. It’s as if they are saying, “I got through my fear, and I am better because of it.” Note that it is important to know that, without proper maintenance, we can slip back into other stages.

What stage are you in? Are you ready for transformation? Feel free to share your thoughts, thanks.


Michael Woolson has become one of the most prominent and respected acting coaches in Los Angeles. He is recognized for his unique ability to cultivate depth and authenticity from his students in an environment that is nurturing and inspiring. Woolson has worked with thousands of actors from talented up-and-comers to award-winning celebrities. He is the author of The Work of an Actor and Emotion on Demand: An Actor’s Workbook for Mastering Emotional Triggers.

For more, follow Michael on Facebook and Twitter.